Bed, Bath and Bye-Bye

The time has come for the Class of 2008 (now the Class of 2012) to pack their Uggs and board their Southwest flights.  Parents everywhere are joining support groups because their oldest children – or worse, their youngest – are leaving the nest, at least until Thanksgiving break. 

 

Rather than focus on the crazy emotions of saying farewell to your baby, the Neurotic Parent will present a one-time special edition of Strange but True Roommate Stories.  Readers' contributions are welcomed – anything to keep this blogger from facing the music that the application process has truly begun.

 

            STRANGE BUT TRUE ROOMMATE STORY #1:

-         At a small LAC in New York, a girl we know arrived early for her orientation.  She located her dorm room and decided not to claim the superior bed until her roommate showed up; the two would then equitably play Rock/Paper/Scissors to decide who would sleep where.  After waiting around for an hour or so, she headed to Bed, Bath and Beyond with her parents.  When they returned, to their dismay, they found that the roommate had arrived and unpacked her things, taking the better bed.   As she and her parents pondered what lesson to take away from this incident, the roommate showed up, but left immediately, saying that she intended to spend the night with her parents at their hotel.  The next morning, the RA announced that she had decided to defer for a year.  Apparently, a well-located bed was not incentive enough to remain at college.

STRANGE BUT TRUE ROOMMATE STORY #2:

A girl we know, weeks away from attending a mid-sized LAC in Connecticut, received her roommate assignment and immediately went to Facebook to check out her new living companion. She was thrilled to find a beautiful international student  from an exotic country.  But our friend’s daughter, who had signed up to live in the most liberal environment on campus, became slightly concerned when she saw that the roommate had identified her favorite book was the Bible.  In fact all her photos and favorite quotes had biblical themes.  How would this girl react to the student residence known as the “Naked Dorm”?  Should someone tell her about the hall’s clothing optional policy?  Before our friend's daughter could figure whether to take action and warn this soon-to-be-offended freshman, she received a letter from the school – Her roommate had switched residences, and she would now live with a less religious girl from Ohio.

Because the Neurotic Parent has close relationships with just four girls headed to college, and two have experienced Strange but True Roommate incidents, we are sorry to report that the odds of an event of this kind happening to your daughter are 50%, possibly higher if she signs up to live in a Naked Dorm.  We will keep you updated as new statistics come in.

Varsity Quidditch

A dear friend, the mother of PFS (Perfect Female Student) has been sending me brief messages from their college tour.  Her email is not working, so she has been contacting me on, you guessed it, Facebook. 
 
Here are the highlights:
 
- "Big pro for Harvard: they offer a bartending class"
 
- "Harvard tour guide was into heavy metal"
 
- "Five Hogwarts references at Harvard"
- At Yale info session there were two actual HP references, two more overheard.  "Admissions officer said that they have a sorting hat.  Audible groan in audience when Hogwarts was mentioned."

If this trend continues, we can be relieved that CJ has already read the great books necessary for college survival. 

 
 
 

Questions from Readers

Q:  Our Harvard tour guide compared Harvard to Hogwarts five times during our tour.  Is this a trend?

A:  Yes.  It is replacing excessive mentioning of a cappella groups.

Q:  Should my eighth grader begin tutoring for the new PPSAT?

A:  Sorry – It's too late.  She should have started in fifth grade. 

Q: It seems as if the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times each have an article every day about how difficult the college admissions process is this year.  Or am I just hyper-aware because I have a rising senior?

A:  This is NOT your imagination – 76% of the reporters for the Journal and the Times also have rising seniors who will be competing with your child.

Q: Will you help my son with his essay?

A: I would love to, especially because my own son won't let me.  Please email it to me.  But remember, I overuse parentheses and the verb "to be".

Q: I have heard that admissions officers look down on high school community service trips to exotic impoverished places.  Yet just about every college website shows a photo of students surrounded by orphans in Swaziland or Bolivia.  Why is it okay to go on these trips in college, but not in high school?

A: Hmm.  That's a good one.  The Neurotic Parent Institute has commissioned an emergency study and has come up with these preliminary results:  They're hypocrites.

A Mid-summer’s Reality Check

It’s August.  This is the time, according to all the specialists, to get a jumpstart on all the stressful tasks that define senior year. 


After a major research study, the Neurotic Parent Institute has created two different checklists for rising seniors, one for each gender.


August To-do List for Girls:


1. Finalize college list


2. Download Common App


3. Complete rough drafts of three short and three long essays


4. Set up appointment with college counselor for essay feedback


5. Contact teachers to ask for recommendations


6. Write thank you notes to above teachers


7. Take weekly SAT II practice exams


8. E-mail college admissions officers with well-researched questions about potential majors


9. Organize fundraiser to benefit Tanzanian AIDs orphans


10. Shop for college interview wardrobe


Most girls we know are well on their way to completing the tasks outlined on the above list, so they will be able to focus on their challenging senior year courseloads and SAT retakes.


Here is the August To-do List for Boys, which demands as much as they can reasonably handle:


1. Turn on computer


2. Download Common App


3. Take a break and go to the beach – Why stress now? That’s what December is for.