Questions from Readers: SAT Edition

Q:  What does "SAT" stand for?

A:  It used to stand for Scholastic Achievement Test, but in 1947 the name of the exam was changed to Scholastic Aptitude Test.  Then the folks at the College Board used their Critical Reasoning skills and came to the conclusion that a coachable exam could not be called an "aptitude" test.  So, officially, SAT stands for nothing.  (I am not kidding about this, and the info about the Audition Coach who is helping Southern California kids appear more middle American is also 100% true.)

Q:  What time does Staples close, in case your kid can’t locate his TI-183 calculator the night before the SAT exam?

A:  Luckily, the Staples in our neighborhood closes at 9:00 PM, as we discovered last night.  (CJ, who had "just had" his calculator the day before, volunteered to pay for the new one, which should add up to about a week of his summer wages.) 

Q:  What are some good snacks for the SATs?

A:  A power bar, a peanut butter sandwich and a banana.  I procured all of these, but CJ left the power bar at home, and probably left the sandwich and banana in the car.

Q:  The SATs are only given several times a year.  What should you do if your child is not feeling well?

A:  An excellent question and the perfect challenge for a neurotic parent.  Unfortunately there was nothing in the SAT prayer about good health, so CJ is now tackling the most important test of his life with a sore throat and cough.  We will let you know if Advil and Ricola cough drops improve his performance (willing to plug other over-the-counter meds – still looking for corporate sponsors).


Questions from Readers: SAT Edition — 3 Comments

  1. Dang. I wish I had read this before sending Middle off this morning – I forgot the banana. We went with a ham and turkey sandwich, a blueberry crisp Cliff bar and, given his propensity to lose steam half way through the Critical Reading section, a Coke. Desperate times call for….

  2. Hmmm… I’m sorry, but I don’t know these code words “Advil” and “Rikola,” and would like to know the identity of the powerful stimulants and PEDs that you have given CJ for the SAT. And where do we get one of these $10,000 “calculators” that are programmed with the correct answers to the next day’s SAT. I can’t believe the NPI is holding out on us.

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