Getting into college is now the least of CJ's problems. Instead, he has something much more pressing to worry about: if he does get in, how will he pay?
The Neurotic Parent Institute has commisioned a study, and here are the results:
1) Everybody is broke, so it might be slightly easier to get into an outrageously-priced private school.
2) But it will be harder to gain acceptance at public schools. Maybe we should check out UC Merced.
3) If students do manage to get accepted somewhere, the college might go bankrupt before they even start; they might not be guaranteed a place to live, and neuroscience research funding could be cut in half.
What irony! What luck!
Here it is, the most difficult year in the history of the world to get into college, and the poor, stressed-out applicants might not even be able to afford college, if by some random stroke of luck, they are accepted.
And, to make the situation worse, they must quickly revise the essays they wrote last summer. They no longer can say they want to be investment bankers.
Hmm. What would be a good career choice now? The best fit the NP could come up with for the class of 2013 is….Bankruptcy Attorney.
Okay, I know this has been obvious for some time, but just in case no one has said it recently — you are a very funny woman.