1) CJ made it home without losing his passport, which he needed for ID because, as a rite of passage into the adult world, his drivers license was stolen (along with the rest of his wallet).
2) He didn't come back a new kid – he's our same old immature, slothful teenager! He wore the same clothes, watched the same sports, played the same video games with his brother, and hung out with the same friends until 3 am. He also embraced the the same annoying habits, such as texting 24/7, even during Thanksgiving dinner.
3) He wasn't braggy or pompous about the knowledge he has acquired at college…In fact he made it a point not to recount any of the facts/great ideas he has been exposed to from his distinguished professors. He can, however, discuss the intricacies of the fraternity rush process.
4) He didn't gain the Freshman 15 (like the girls), or lose the Freshman 7 (like the other boys).
5) He's happy. Very happy. He is not the subject of nasty "transfer" rumors such as: "Spike is so-o-o unhappy with the weather in Boston. I heard he was going to transfer to Santa Barbara." Or: "Natasha really should have gone to a school in the city. I heard she's trying to transfer to NYU."
Adults discuss these potential transfers the way they would whisper about impending divorces. This amuses me: I can't help but think back to the days when transferring was the norm, when 78% of my friends jumped around from college to college and it wasn't a such a scandalous event if you moved on after a year or two. Of course, in those days you didn't have to write three new essays and conjure up honors, awards and quirky extracurriculars to make the move.