A dear friend called me last week to let me know that her daughter, FS (Future Senator), had just been accepted to WashU in St. Louis. FS was thrilled, particularly because WashU had also sent her a plane ticket to visit the school. After texting all her friends, she called her grandfather, who will be helping with tuition, to let him know the good news. The grandfather was happy, but he confessed had never heard of WashU – He assumed his granddaughter was talking about the University of Washington in Seattle.
Of course, all of us obsessed with the college process know that WashUStl is the Harvard of the midwest….Duh! But, unfortunately, most of the rest of the world has no idea that it is so prestigious. In fact most people think there are only six top colleges: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Columbia, Berkeley and Stanford. Most don't know the difference between Penn and Penn State, and many have never even heard of Williams…or even the University of Chicago.
The Neurotic Parent Institute has just completed a significant market research proposal that promises to benefit those "small colleges that change lives," as well as all the kids who just cannot get into one of the six most competitive schools during these trying times. And grandparents will be able to brag to their hearts' content.
The plan is simple: Instead of going through the futile steps of applying to colleges with a 6% admissions, rate, why not apply to the following schools:
1. Cornell College – This place, in Vernon, Iowa looks awesome, has a 44% acceptance rate and no dangerous gorges. And you can tell your grandma you go to Cornell.
2. Columbia College of Chicago – Here you can study something hip and practical like Fashion Studies, Acoustical Engineering or Marketing Communication. Best part: No two years of Plato, but you can still impress the relatives with your Columbia car decal.
3. Brown College – This school in Minnesota offers degrees in hot fields like Radio Broadcasting and Criminal Justice. And, not only is the tuition is 50% less than of the other Brown.
4. Northwestern Oklahoma State University – A lot warmer than the more well-known Northwestern…and no demanding quarter system.
5. Wesleyan College – Fire your SAT tutor. The average SAT math score at this lovely school in Macon, GA falls betweeen 440 and 590.
6. Berkeley College – Conveniently located right off Route 17 in downtown Paramus, NJ, here you can get a degree in International Relations in just two years. I dare you to accomplish that at the other Berkeley.