American Idol Finale Delays May SAT Scores

Test takers all over the nation were disappointed this evening to learn that their May SAT results would be delayed by forty-eight hours.  Hundreds of anxious students posted on, expressing dismay.

jd989899 suggested that  "Maybe this is due to all the tornadoes…the graders couldn't come in to work."

may09sat theorized that "…the Rapture had something to do with it."

Another poster, cortana431 , did some investigative googling and found out that "this happened in 2006 when some answer sheets were found to be damp." 

Many angry, impatient students on the site mentioned that they would be willing to forgive the College Board for the two-day wait if the testing agency had decided to readjust the curve at the last minute.

MMAfAnatic9  was not so kind.  He or she asked other posters to weigh in on whether they thought the College Board was "…having technical problems, or just being a bunch of lazy asses."

After a full-fledged investigation, The Neurotic Parent has uncovered the true reason for the score report delay: The graders couldn't resist taking a break to watch the two-hour season finale of American Idol. 

We reached Gaston Caperton, the President of the College Board, who said, "Our staffers were unable to finish uploading exam results until they found out whether Scotty or Lauren would be the new Idol.  Now that they have seen BeyoncĂ©, Lady Gaga, Tom Jones, Tony Bennett and Judas Priest perform with the contestants, the majority will go back to reporting scores."

Caperton, a former governor of West Virginia, clarified that the scoring hiatus would last until the weekend.  "All of us at the College Board are obsessed with reality television," he said, "as evidenced by our recent choice of essay topics.  Although Idol is over, some of our employees feel compelled to catch up on episodes of Dancing With the Stars and Fashion Police before they get back to work, but we promise to get those results up by Saturday."



American Idol Finale Delays May SAT Scores — 1 Comment

  1. You know what’s the worst part of taking the SAT? It’s not the exam procedure. It’s waiting for the result afterward. Those are probably the longest days of your life. As you wait for your result, you begin to contemplate what you did right and what you did wrong, and what’s gonna happen if you don’t pass. I just hate that part. Good thing I passed my SAT on the first try.