Empty You-Know-What

'Nest' is the wrong word for the dwelling. Everyone reports that it's more like an empty retirement home, just two old people taking frequent naps on all the extra beds. Here is what some of the mommy and daddy birds are doing:

- Epic vacations

- Plastic surgery

- Long walks with pets

- Zumba

- Commissioning plans to remodeling the kitchen, canceling because of two tuitions

- Cutting back on the housekeeper

- Skipping dinner, then having wine/popcorn/cereal at midnight

- Catching up on films missed for the last twenty years

- Foster child/adoption (100% true – my awesome cousin did this!)

- All sorts of puppy-related things

- All sorts of cooking-related things

- Finding a life coach

- Volunteering, getting roped into events, taking on responsibility of "table captain"

- Changing careers

- Booking tickets, re-booking tickets

- Having lunch/dinner with fellow ex-soccer parents, reminiscing about bad calls

- Sleeping and not sleeping at odd hours

- Finding graphic artists to help with websites

- Making new friends on College Confidential (other Empties whose freshmen won't answer their texts)

- Blogging


- Stalking the kids on Facebook


Empty You-Know-What — 5 Comments

  1. Love the list! Does “getting addicted to childish internet games with other neurotic parents” count?