This video was produced by Bloomberg News after they were invited into the decision room of the great Amherst College. This is not a parody.
The yearly ED/SCEA bloodbath occurred this weekend, perhaps even more brutally than last year, according to early reports on College Confidential. Some very lucky kids are celebrating while some very talented kids are regrouping.
What to do if you’re deferred? According to the savvy folks at Application Boot Camp, you might have a greater chance of eventually getting in this year because the recent trend is to reject unqualified applicants outright. But you can’t just sit around. You need to get good grades, collect additional recommendation letters and engage in a full-fledged self-promotion campaign. Here’s what they advise:
“Write a letter reaffirming that the college is still your first choice, send an extra letter of recommendation, make sure your grades go up and send updates about what you are doing in school. The only deferred kids who end up being accepted are those who make themselves into polite pests.
More specifically, by the middle of February, draw up a one-page letter reaffirming your interest in the college, and then submit a bullet-point list of all the earth-shattering news/awards that you have won.”
Having trouble figuring out what to write? Are you just a normal kid with few, if any, earthshattering news/awards? No worries. The Neurotic Parent Institute has come up with several adaptable templates, which we will share with you free of charge:
“The knitting club I founded has now produced sweaters for an entire colony of freezing penguins in Antarctica. I have won a Golden Needle award for my efforts.”
“I am proud to let you know that I am now shadowing an ENT at Cedars Sinai Hospital, and I have just assisted in my first septoplasty (repair of a deviated septum).”
“Since my deferral, I have composed a series of trombone concertos, one of which will be perfomed this season by the Cleveland Orchestra.”
“During spring break I plan to travel to Chinle, AZ, where I have organized an intertribal, multigenerational pow wow. I have received an advance to write a book of poetry about the event, tentatively titled “Meditations of Harmony and Wonder,” and I intend to donate the profits to Habitat for Humanity.”
and, finally:
“My grades, unfortunately, have not improved, and the only award I have won was ‘Customer of the Month’ at the Verizon store, after losing or damaging seven iPhones in a three-week period. But I thought it would be of interest that my grandma’s foundation plans to finance a state-of-the-art neuroscience lab at the university that I ultimately attend.”
Here is a powerful, non-denominational prayer to be recited while opening emails, logging on to online portals, or dealing with with snail mail announcing Early Decision news. It will also be effective for Early Action (EA) and Single Choice Early Action (SCEA) decisions.
The prayer was designed for laptop, desktop and mobile device users, but also works for Georgetown’s old-fashioned snail mail. It may be recited aloud at home or silently in the subway, on the squash court, or while working with orphans in Ethiopia:
—
As I confront the most life-changing email/online portal/envelope I will ever encounter, I beseech the Almighty Early One to look over me and protect me from posting something braggy, smug or nasty on Facebook. If accepted, grant me the strength to immediately compose a gushing thank you note and send it along with an Amazon gift card to my history teacher, who exaggerated my brilliance in her recommendation and made me sound like a freaking genius for winning a debate about GMOs. If deferred, give me the focus to complete the 26 other apps, with supplements I haven’t yet downloaded. And, O Early One, if denied, consider giving me a White Lie Waiver, allowing me to tell people “I decided at the last minute to apply Regular, and besides, I want to take a gap year anyway to continue my research with sea turtles.
LAST MINUTE APPLICATION HYSTERIA: WHICH VACATION TO RUIN
If your high school student applied Early Decision to a beloved college or a strategically-chosen likely, November 1st or November 15th were days of celebration. By those dates a version of the Common App had to be completed, ending procrastination and endless essay revisions.
Now that November has come and gone, what sort of psychology should early applicants employ for completing their remaining 17 applications? Some students, encouraged by independent counselors (who get paid by the hour), feel compelled to finish all 33 supplements before early results come out in mid-December. They believe that if deferred or rejected, they will be too depressed to devote proper attention to their remaining RD (Regular Decision) apps. Students in this catagory end up with Application Insurance of sorts, but face the risk of having to write dozens of essays for naught. And they lose out on a relaxing, restorative Thanksgiving, their last one at home as a high school student.
Others who apply early believe that they should not spend one moment on any essay or application that they might not need to complete if they get accepted to their early schools. These gamblers have even said that it is bad karma to even ponder “Why Johns Hopkins” when they have applied early to Northwestern. Students in this category live dangerously, turning the application process into a true nailbiter, and often end up destroying their family’s last ski trip, as they desperately work on apps until the moment the ball falls in Times Square.
With this conundrum in mind, the Neurotic Parent Institute proposes a new anti-festival: Winter Hellday. Falling on December 16th, prior to Christmas, Kwanzaa, the Equinox and often before Chanukah, this is a 24-hour period during which rejected and deferred early applicants must stay up all night with their bleary-eyed parents as support teams. At the stroke of midnight on December 17th, all RD apps must be completed and turned in. By embracing this new holiday, applicants and their families can spend the rest of their winter vacation worrying, rather than writing.
Live from Facebook:
Alum Interviewer
Did some admissions interviews at my alma mater today. Boy, does eye contact make a difference. Considering developing an AP Interview class.