If I were to redo my college experience, I would get an B.A. in Latin American Studies from Amherst, an M.A. in Journalism from Georgetown and a PhD in Bar Mitzvah Video Montage Production from NYU. But secretly I have always wanted to major in Statistics because, using statistics, you can prove anything.
With that in mind, I am pleased to share the results of the first research study conducted by the Neurotic Parent Institute, "Effects of a Decent College Education on Happiness and Success."
Percentage of my readers who attended Harvard, Yale or Princeton: 21%
Percentage of above who could get into Harvard, Yale or Princeton today: 2%
Percentage of readers who went on a spring break tour to visit colleges before they matriculated: 1%
Percentage of readers who took an SAT prep course: 4%
Percentage of readers who have used calculus, physics or philosophy in the last 30 years: 8%
Percentage of readers who consider themselves successful because they bought a home in 1993, not because they went to college: 96%
Percentage of readers who consider themselves interesting because they listen to NPR, not because they went to college: 92%
Percentage of readers who attended top colleges, yet waste time reading blogs: 83%