Linens Anonymous

I know I said I would not blog about bedding anymore, but the situation has become desperate.  While my son is in Colorado on a road trip, where he is mountain biking, rafting and hiking (without any of his treaded footwear), and probably sleeping on the floor, all I can think about is what he will put on his lumpy dorm bed.  So…

My name is Neurotic Parent and I am a bedaholic.  (And I am in good company…numerous reader have contacted me privately because they're too embarrassed about their conditions to leave comments here.)

Here are the warning signs:

  1. Visiting BB&B alone; staying until closing time
  2. Ordering high-count bed linens online, hiding them in your car, then sending them back
  3. Daily or frequent trips to Ikea, even if it's 30+ miles away
  4. Inability to reduce or stop surfing; viewing all 1543 search results for grey sheets
  5. Opening sealed memory foam packages at bedding stores to assess the odors
  6. Secretly checking out mattress toppers at friends' homes
  7. Becoming angry when confronted by spouse about how boring your conversations have become
  8. Neglecting care and maintainance of your OWN bedding, while stockpiling for child
  9. Contacting friend in Amsterdam about where she purchased a Twin XL non-ruffled bedskirt
10. Poor sleep habits due to nightmares about foam vs. fiberbed/top sheet vs. duvet cover

The saddest, most ironic part about my obsession is that CJ has attended soccer camp for the last seven years at Stanford and UCSB, where he routinely stayed in the most run-down dorms on campus. I sent him with our oldest, torn, stained lowest-count bedding…which he never even unpacked – He just slept on top of his sleeping bag on the dorm beds with no top sheet.  And he always came back happy and well-rested.

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