In the spirit of the holiday, how about getting your kids something more special than yet another pair of ear buds? Instead of plunking down $240,000 on a college degree that will probably lead to a position as a Cleanse Consultant at Cold-Pressed Juicery, here is a list of gift ideas that will truly bring joy and financial security to your high school seniors:
1. Seven BMWs: One every five years for the next 35 years.
2. A “starter” co-op in Brooklyn. Yes, it’s on the first floor and faces a wall. But your kid will get to live in Bushwick, a “burgeoning” neighborhood. And at 432 square feet it’s larger than most dorm rooms.
3. A trip around the world in a private jet: A tad indulgent, but just think about the networking options with fellow passengers, all retired CFOs. And because the tour is only $108k, you’ll have enough left over for a paid internship at the Weinstein company (yes, you can pick this up as a charity auction item online).
4. Two Birkin bags: Use them in health, then sell on ebay.
5. 3000 shares of Uber (exact amount to be adjusted when it goes public): If you invested $1,000 in Amazon at the IPO, it would now be worth $239,045, a much more impressive ROI than most college educations.
6. A 3-D Printer : A decent one, the kind you can use to make a burger or an extra kidney.
7. A marijuana farm in Humboldt county.
8. A VIP event hosted by your daughter or son at Coachella, with plant-based catering and the chance to mingle with Skrillex. Other guests will include Brazilian models, Elon Musk, Evan Spiegal and a bevy of angel investors, ready to incubate your kids’ ideas.
9. Airfare to Sweden, where a great college education is free. You will need to provide your child with a good immigration attorney and a high-quality seasonal disorder lamp, but he or she will end up with a degree, a talent for making meatballs, plus more than $200,000 in the bank.