The Neurotic Parent

- Our Russian cab driver, when dropping us off at NYU admissions, asked GC's friend what he had scored on the SAT

- There was a student presenter at the Wesleyan info session, who addressed our group along with the admissions dean.  The student is a double major in Public Health and Gender Studies, plays varsity volleyball, works as an assistant midwife in Middletown, teaches salsa dancing to six year olds and is co-writing a paperwith her professor about Alternate Birthing in Chile.  Reminded all of us of our own extracurriculars in college.

- A friend of a friend in NY spent $40,000 in tutoring just for ONE SAT subject test (U.S. History).   Her tutor, presumably a Supreme Court Justice, charges $2400 an hour.  Sadly, the student was denied admission to Brown, but will be attending Middlebury. 

- We've heard of three or four Stanford alums who donated generously, only to find out, in horror, that their very qualified kids were rejected.  So save your money and invest in S'barro's instead – there are at least two on every campus.

- The opening of the NYU info session included exotic views of a new campus in Abu Dhabi.  Unlike NYU in NY, which costs $55k and had 42,000 applicants this year (up 11% from '10), NYU Abu Dhabi has only 150 students and offers students 100% merit scholarships.  The presenter compared life in the two cities, and encouraged all to apply.  A caveat to freshmen: It is difficult to get a parking permit for your camel the first year.

- We have now twice heard the following anecdote with the motto "Proofread rather than spell check."   Admissions officers on two different campuses told us about a boy who unfortunately repeatedly wrote that he enjoys "torturing" children, when he really meant to say "tutoring,'"

As I post from Ann Arbor, one of the greatest college towns in the universe, I am faced with a major dilemma.  Just about every school on my son GC's preliminary list has just released statistics that show that 2011 was the year with highest amount of applicants and the lowest acceptance rate ever. So if I post something positive about our experience at a college, I could screw things up for GC and his travel buddy, MM (Mr. Mellow).  Or if I say anything negative, admissions officers might read this blog and decide not to admit a kid whose parent badmouths their school on the internet.

This means that throughout the trip my posts will have to be full of benign anecdotes, like a list of the following bad news/good news situations:

SITUATION #1: NCAA Tournament
Bad News: I created a bracket so I could bond with my son during this trip.  This was a very time-consuming task for somebody who knows virtually nothing about college basketball.
Good News: Three of my teams lost one day after I predicted the outcome of the tournament, so I no longer feel obligated to watch the games.

SITUATION #2: Emergency Landing
Bad News: Our plane developed a hydrolic leak. We sped up, landed in Detroit an hour early, and found ourselves surrounded by dozens of fire engines.
Good News: We weren't informed about the "issue" until after we landed.  And we could continue to play the Online Trivia Quiz while a truck fans cooled our brakes for 90 minutes.

SITUATION #3: Lost Necklace
Bad News: Met a fellow Angeleno in the lobby who complained that the concierge had sent her to a restaurant that served buffalo wings and that the bathrooms in this hotel were ridiculously tiny.  Her criticism seemed over-the-top, but moments later my necklace slipped off the counter and fell into the drain in our sink.

Good News: Jeff from Maintainance came to our room and retrieved the necklace. It seemed as if he had done this before.

SITUATION #4: Misplaced Jacket
Bad News: It was 17 degrees last night, 12 with the wind chill.  But GC still somehow managed to leave his jacket at the A E Pi Fraternity House, where he visited one of my older son CJ's friend. He returned back to the hotel with just a fleece.
Good News: The weather here is clearly not a major deterrent for GC.

SITUATION #5: Zingerman's Waitlist
Bad News: We were deferred, then waitlisted at Zingerman's, the best deli in the midwest. However, if we take a gap year, there is hope for admission in the Fall of 2012.
Good News: We ate a much quicker lunch at a Korean place in the very cool Kerrytown market, (with an architecture student, FFG – Future Frank Geary, our longtime family friend), which gave us time to get to see my cousin EE (Equestrian Extraordinaire) in the closing ceremony of the U-M marathon, in which she had danced for 30 hours straight to raise money for a pediatric hospital.  She told us that tomorrow, on a Monday, we might be able get into Zingerman's for lunch.

A dear friend called me last week to let me know that her daughter, FS (Future Senator), had just been accepted to WashU in St. Louis.  FS was thrilled, particularly because WashU had also sent her a plane ticket to visit the school.  After texting all her friends, she called her grandfather, who will be helping with tuition, to let him know the good news.  The grandfather was happy, but he confessed had never heard of WashU – He assumed his granddaughter was talking about the University of Washington in Seattle. 

Of course, all of us obsessed with the college process know that WashUStl is the Harvard of the midwest….Duh!  But, unfortunately, most of the rest of the world has no idea that it is so prestigious.  In fact most people think there are only six top colleges: Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Cornell, Columbia, Berkeley and Stanford.  Most don't know the difference between Penn and Penn State, and many have never even heard of Williams…or even the University of Chicago.

The Neurotic Parent Institute has just completed a significant market research proposal that promises to benefit those "small colleges that change lives," as well as all the kids who just cannot get into one of the six most competitive schools during these trying times.  And grandparents will be able to brag to their hearts' content. 

The plan is simple: Instead of going through the futile steps of applying to colleges with a 6% admissions, rate, why not apply to the following schools:

1. Cornell College – This place, in Vernon, Iowa looks awesome, has a 44% acceptance rate and no dangerous gorges.  And you can tell your grandma you go to Cornell.

2. Columbia College of Chicago – Here you can study something hip and practical like Fashion Studies, Acoustical Engineering or Marketing Communication.  Best part: No two years of Plato, but you can still impress the relatives with your Columbia car decal.

3. Brown College – This school in Minnesota offers degrees in hot fields like Radio Broadcasting and Criminal Justice.   And, not only is the tuition is 50% less than of the other Brown.

4. Northwestern Oklahoma State University – A lot warmer than the more well-known Northwestern…and no demanding quarter system.

5. Wesleyan College – Fire your SAT tutor. The average SAT math score at this lovely school in Macon, GA falls betweeen 440 and 590.

6. Berkeley College – Conveniently located right off Route 17 in downtown Paramus, NJ, here you can get a degree in International Relations in just two years.  I dare you to accomplish that at the other Berkeley.