International College Angst

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Just returned from teaching a workshop (not about blogging) at a beautiful, mid-sized South American university.  Some observations:

- Students there were incredibly dedicated, motivated and talented.  (Not that they're not here…but they seemed more passionate about learning.)

- No drinking problems.  No wild parties….perhaps because drinking is legal.

- No college sweatshirts, banners, mugs, etc.  This presented a big problem for me, souvenir-wise.

- No dorms.  Everyone lived off-campus with roommates.  Cooking dinner for friends is a popular activity.

- Few, if any, extracurriculars.  Many part-time jobs.

- Application process is very rigorous w/ essays and exams, but nobody had heard of a college tour, college counselor, college confidential-esque website, etc.

- Classes never started on time and there were numerous long coffee breaks.

- I met several students who had completed the equivalent of bachelor and master degrees and were now applying to North American universities for MBAs.  Their wish lists, despite their relaxed undergrad experience and alternative path: Penn, Columbia, Northwestern & UCLA and Berkeley.  So all roads, even the quiet, hidden trails in the snow-capped Andes, lead to biomedical engineering and hedge funds.

Parents Weekend

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I'm very pleased to report that we survived Parents Weekend. In fact the visit was a smashing success, other than a torrential downpour during the football game, a fourteen-hour journey home involving a missed connecting flight and our younger son's permanent corruption after spending three nights with his brother in his dorm. 

CJ is incredibly happy, reasonably healthy (after recuperating from Swine), and actually managed to get excellent mid-semester grades, without missing a tailgate. 

One minor disappointment: We barely were able to have a conversation with our son because most of our time together involved loud sporting events, crowded restaurants with his friends' families…and watching him nap in our hotel room.  Every night at 9:30 he would politely bid us goodnight and head off to a vibrant social occasion that lasted until 3 am.  And each morning, while waiting for him to wake up, Mr. NP and I attended speeches by the President, a cappella performances, economics lectures and spirited brunches,  commiserating with other parents about how education is wasted on the young.

Later in the week, the parents of the Class of '09 at CJ's high school had a reunion coffee, and the themes seemed to be the same: many undeclared majors, minimal homesickness, phone calls home mostly to ask for something…and how to deal with our college students when they come home for Thanksgiving and expect us to be supportive of their girls-and-boys-gone-crazy good life under our roofs.

Parents Weekend

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We're on our way to reconnect with our wayward eldest for a weekend of campus fun, athletics and stimulating lectures like "Global Opportunities in Places like Ghana that Cost Twice as Much as Regular Tuition."  Ever the consummate host, CJ seems to actually be looking forward to our arrival and is taking an active role in ensuring a fun visit for the entire family.

We land at 11:45 pm and will arrive at our hotel at 12:30 am.  But the late hour will not stop CJ from providing his younger brother BH with an immediate glimpse of college life.  Here is a snippet of our latest BBM communication:

Mom: We're on the plane, about to take off.  Is it true you invited BH to sleep in your dorm? Where and when should he meet you?

CJ: I will let u know when it gets closer to the time.  And give him cash.

Potluck/Cryfest

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Last Friday my friend IOMOHR (Incredibly Organized Mother of Handsome Rower) hosted the most appropriate gathering imaginable, a transforming evening with such fantastic opportunities for female bonding and introspection that it almost provided a rationale for all of our suffering of the last few months. 

Here is an excerpt from the invitation:

Has one or all of your pups left the den in the recent past? Can you
weep at the drop of the hat or are you available to assure the rest of
us that there is a silver lining to their departure and/or that they
will be living us again in no time?

If so, this potluck/cryfest is for you!  Please let us know what you'll be bringing.  I'll
supply a big green salad and drinks – and lots of Kleenex!

Almost thirty of us attended, most of us more adept at preparing a frittatta than dealing with our feelings of separation, anger, loneliness and compulsion to "have work done", so we won't look as old as we feel. 

Because we shared our feelings in council format, I am bound to secrecy, but I can mention a few of the standout potluck dishes – chicken marsala, potatoes fontecchio, cauliflour souflee, cranberry pudding, apricot galette and two very comforting pasta dishes.

And I do hope that it's okay to bring up one common theme, which seemed to affect at least half of the group.   (I know that IOMOHR will be in touch if it's not.)  Here's the pattern that emerged: With our newly-found free time, many of us have taken to sitting and reflecting in the unusually-clean rooms of our sons and daughters who have gone off to college.  I was thrilled to hear that I was not the sole mom who has adopted this new emotional habit.  And in my case, it's even more painful, because not only am I surrounded with the poignant souvenirs of CJ's fleeting childhood, but there is still a pile of items that need to be brought back to Target and Ikea…and I don't know what I did with the receipts.