The Neurotic Parent

Somehow the four-month summer has vanished in a surreal flash, and CJ is scheduled to return to college in three days.  This time I am accompanying him without Mr. Neurotic Parent or GC (Good Conversationalist, our new name for our younger son, previously known as BH). 

Many of CJ's friends are already back at school, and now that they're big sophomores, many have set up their rooms without their parents.  With this in mind, I asked CJ whether he really wanted me to go with him, and was thrilled to find out that he did. 

"I think you should come," he said, "because if you don't, I probably will go the whole year without unpacking,"  But he warned me that he would not be available for lunches or dinners, and other than for runs to Super Target, he would not pay any attention to me at all. 

I do not like to think of myself as a "Velcro parent," who are presumably even more involved than the helicopters of the '00's.  According to a piece in today's NYT called "Students, Welcome to College; Mom and Dad, Go Home," many schools are now instituting "Parting Ceremonies" to prevent mothers and fathers from attending classes with their kids or going to the registrar to change their classes.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/23/education/23college.html?_r=1

I actually see myself as a mom who CAN separate (I was even the first to make it to Starbucks during Mommy and Me), but when I glanced at my Southwest itinerary, I was horrified to find out that I had scheduled THREE nights to help CJ move in to his new dorm.  And changing my ticket at this point is a lose-lose scenario because the "Web Only" fares are long gone.  

So, if you're near CJ's college this weekend, and you want to have breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee and/or drinks, you can find me hiding out in my hotel room, unvelcro-ing myself.

Today I got the kind of call all parents hope for – a stellar, unsolicited report about a youngster we had raised from the beginning, with love, care and just the right amount of discipline. 

"I had lunch with Kathy today," my friend said.  "And she mentioned how much she loves Gracie." 

Gracie is our Schnoodle.  She is warm, compassionate and enthusiastic about life.  And, she is a genius.  It is no wonder that Kathy, the owner of the home-based canine camp where she boards when we go on vacation, is crazy about her.  Kathy confessed to my friend that while the other dogs, including my friend's dog Comet, have to play outside, Gracie has the run of the house.  And Kathy even lets Gracie sleep with her.  There is no question that all the nurture, exercise and exposure to the great outdoors that we have provided has paid off.

Through the years we have received rave reports about our boys as well.  When CJ was four, a parent commented that he was a "great eater," because he had asked for seconds of curried chicken.  And just recently, someone told us that BH was a "good conversationalist".  It's wonderful to get such positive feedback about our parenting.  But frankly, nothing we have been told about either of our sons has compared to the level of compliments we've gotten about the cuddly, tail-wagging Gracie.  Even our sons' greatest fans have never mentioned that they wanted our boys to spend the night curled up at the foot of their beds.

So now I must decide whether to ask Kathy to write a formal recommendation for Gracie.  Surely, if we send it in with BH's common app, the admissions people will realize that if we did such a great job with our dog, our son must be pretty cool as well. 

Parents, if you want to get your mind off the upcoming pleasures of junior year, like the SAT subject exams, cliched essays and lost community service hour reports, just plan an African vacation.  There is no end to the potential causes for anxiety:

1. Bird-eating spiders

2. Human-crushing hippos

3. Reaction to probably-unnecessary yellow fever vaccine

4. Reaching the proper decision about whether to spend $450 pp to go up in a balloon for 45 minutes

5. Somali terrorists

6. Terminal 3 – Terminal 5 transfer at Heathrow

7. The possibility of one of the kids sleepwalking out of the tent and into a cheetah's den

8. Killer flies laying eggs on quick-drying underwear

9. Losing our memory cards

10. Increasing rarity of family vacations