Move-in Tips – Part I

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What to pack:

1.  A TOOL KIT to keep your husband occupied and out of your hair.  And make sure you pick something up at Target that will take a lot of time to put together.  (This is akin to packing Legos for your toddler.)

2.  Even if it's 90 degrees plus outside, don't forget a PASHMINA, a CARTIGAN and a FLEECE JACKET to wear indoors.  Most hotels in college towns outside of CA haven't heard of carbon footprints and set their AC at 58 degress.

3.  PREPPY SHORTS with whales on them.  People really wear these in other parts of the country.

4.  A SPY CAMERA, because your son or daughter will be embarrassed if you try to take photos publically.

5.  Hundreds of BB&B COUPONS.  If you have a sister-in-law who lives in the suburbs, chances are she and all her friends have been hoarding these for years.  Even if you have never used coupons in your life, you will feel so good about saving $2.18 on a bath towel that you won't mind losing your son or daughter.

Countdown

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I'll bet you thought this would be the countdown to the post about how/if Neurotic Parent survives CJ's move in.  But tonight marks a more significant occasion in the world of college admissions: We are just 5 hours, 34 minutes and 02 seconds away from the big reveal of the 2010 U.S. News & World Report College Rankings.  These are arbitrary numbers created by a news magazine that has not been in the top ten for decades, but has college administrators biting their nails because insecure parents force their kids to apply to #9, even if #15 might be a better match for their kids. 

SPOILER: The Huffington Post has already reveled that Princeton and Harvard will be tied for the #1 spot, Yale will follow as #3, and that Stanford, MIT, Cal Tech and Penn will all have to share #4.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/19/harvard-princeton-top-us-_n_263539.html

So, when the clock strikes 12, we can all analyze and agonize about another level of silly competition in this wacky process.

Target Therapy

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Deep down I feel I must be loyal to Bed, Bath and Beyond.  After all, it is the only store that lets you reserve dozens of items at your local branch, then edit your order when you get to your college town, without paying in advance.  And they allow you to use coupons that expired in 2004. 

But today I found myself in Target, B,B&B's principal dorm-supply competitor.  I was there on a  mission to find an essential collegiate item that I had never heard of until last week: 3M Command Strips, which are used to hang up posters in dorm rooms without damaging the wall. The entire westside of Los Angeles is out of the miracle substance because there are an awful lot of Bob Marley images waiting to be hung at UCLA and USC.

I scored big time command strip-wise, then wandered the aisles, remembering when I used to go there for T-ball equipment and Power Ranger underwear.  I ended up buying a microplush blanket for CJ, another newish item…comfort bedding - sort of like a stuffed animal hide. I also checked out the underbed storage drawers offered for three days only as a College Prep Special, and became depressed when I saw that they were hipper and cheaper than the ones we registered for at B,B&B.

I returned home, vowing never to go back to Target…unless, of course, I need to return something I bought today.  It was just too intense reliving all my child-oriented bargain purchases of the last 18 years and seeing all the better deals we could get if we were driving to CJ's school, rather than flying.

Then I glanced at the parents' forum on College Confidential and discovered that I am in the minority.  Other senior moms go to Target for an uplifting experience, not a melancholy one.  One frequent contributor, named lindz126, confessed:

"oh and the Target thing…it was my therapy last yr after my s left for college—whenever I felt sad I'd go to Target, wander around, you know like you can only do at Target, and fill a basket to send him as a care package. always worked to make me feel better. feel connected to him. "

Darn! On top of everything else, I have developed Target Aversion Syndrome.  No care packages for my son – unless I can bring myself to find solice at Ikea.

Number One, Coed Style

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We are approaching the final countdown.  The shopping is almost completed, although every BB&B virtual purchase creates anxiety and leads to hours of additional research.  Window fan or Vornado?  Will the sticky hooks work, or is it better to purchase the over-the-door ones, even if you don't know whether there IS a suitable door?  What kind of rainboots would a teen actually wear, especially a teen who has never used outerclothes?  And are bed risers as treacherous as they look in the package? 

This whole process reminds me of the daunting task of outfitting the nursery before the baby arrived.  Suddenly there were seemingly important consumer decisions to be made about bouncy seats, toilet locks, onesies, splat mats and especially strollers, all products that I barely knew existed before landing in Babyland.  You would think that items for an 18-year old would not feel so unfamiliar, but they are equally as alien – egg crate foam, micro-fridge, shower bucket…How can we make responsible choices about these essentials if we've never before encountered them? 

The wise TGDP (Talented Graphic Designer Pal), who has sent two kids off to college, insists that on move-in day, Bed/Bath/Buyer's Remorse will be the least of my worries.  And the event of saying goodbye to my baby will also be not such a big deal, she promises, because I will no longer have to be mad at him every night for missing dinner and coming home late.  

But, according to TGDP, there is one inevitable move-in situation that wil wreak havoc on my psyche: Using the bathroom in the dorm.  TGDP broke it to me gently, but the vivid details of her shocking story have remained in my mind: When she moved her son into a top liberal arts college in Connecticut, she visited his dorm bathroom and there at the sink was a dad, washing his hands.  My friend nodded politely to him, then entered a stall.  As she sat on the lavatory several feet away, the friendly father continued to engage her in small talk…"Where are you from?"  "Has your son decided on a major?" "Did you fly to Hartford or New York?", etc., etc.

The emotional impact of dropping off your child is one thing, but having to chat with male strangers while peeing is enough to bring anyone over the edge.