Intervention

I've moved on from my bedding obsession, partly because I became busy with real work and partly because it got very boring, even though I did learn a lot about some innovative fibers, particularly modal. 

Thanks to everyone for all the support, especially ETPB (Esteemed Therapist Phone Buddy), who shared my sudden addiction.  Her take is that this is the last time we have any control…the last time we will provide a mattress enhancer, or in her case a winter jacket.  But another friend, who ended up going minimal BB&B, thinks our bizarre behavior spends from a last-minute intrinsic compulsion to protect our kids and help them be comfortable.

Either way, many thanks to TGDP (Talented Graphic Designer Pal) for the intervention.  Whether or not there is merit in spending time searching for the perfect bed riser, TGDP pointed out that everything gets trashed immediately anyway.  Check out this impressive young man's freshman dorm room at Penn.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fggN130OADY

Linens Anonymous

I know I said I would not blog about bedding anymore, but the situation has become desperate.  While my son is in Colorado on a road trip, where he is mountain biking, rafting and hiking (without any of his treaded footwear), and probably sleeping on the floor, all I can think about is what he will put on his lumpy dorm bed.  So…

My name is Neurotic Parent and I am a bedaholic.  (And I am in good company…numerous reader have contacted me privately because they're too embarrassed about their conditions to leave comments here.)

Here are the warning signs:

  1. Visiting BB&B alone; staying until closing time
  2. Ordering high-count bed linens online, hiding them in your car, then sending them back
  3. Daily or frequent trips to Ikea, even if it's 30+ miles away
  4. Inability to reduce or stop surfing Overstock.com; viewing all 1543 search results for grey sheets
  5. Opening sealed memory foam packages at bedding stores to assess the odors
  6. Secretly checking out mattress toppers at friends' homes
  7. Becoming angry when confronted by spouse about how boring your conversations have become
  8. Neglecting care and maintainance of your OWN bedding, while stockpiling for child
  9. Contacting friend in Amsterdam about where she purchased a Twin XL non-ruffled bedskirt
10. Poor sleep habits due to nightmares about foam vs. fiberbed/top sheet vs. duvet cover

The saddest, most ironic part about my obsession is that CJ has attended soccer camp for the last seven years at Stanford and UCSB, where he routinely stayed in the most run-down dorms on campus. I sent him with our oldest, torn, stained lowest-count bedding…which he never even unpacked – He just slept on top of his sleeping bag on the dorm beds with no top sheet.  And he always came back happy and well-rested.

More Bedding Issues

I have noticed that my readership has gone down since I started blogging about choosing linens, but I just can't get a grip on which to purchase for my son (who can sleep ANYWHERE and could care less). 

I understand the XL sheet concept and now know that a regular length twin duvet and cover will work with an extra-long bed.  Have even conquered the percale vs. sateen decision.  Whether CJ, who I can't imagine using a top sheet, will ever launder the duvet cover is another question.

But now after a trip to BB&B where he actually selected underbed storage bins and hand towels, many decisions loom. 

- Should he get a "memory foam" pad? (Cons: Retains heat; chemical odor)

- An egg shell pad? (Cons: Out-dated, now replaced by memory foam)

- A zoned Isotonic mattress enhancer or 400 TC Egyptian cotton "overstuffed" mattress pad…or BOTH?

- A bed bug protector?

- A feather bed or hypoallergenic fiber bed?

The most challenging part of this decision-making process is that these items are not mutally exclusive.  For example, if you get the memory foam, you still need the mattress pad – and how can the foam remember anything if it's squished by overstuffed pad by Laura Ashley?

I have come to the conclusion that the best idea would be to purchase a brand new comfortable mattress rather than try to enhance a 50-year old sucky one.  I'm sure we could pick one up in CJ's college town for $79, a lot less than the cost of the layered system that we will have to put together.  BTW, there are numerous threads on College Confidential about this…including a query from a Stanford-bound coed whose SATs had to be a lot higher than her Bedding Quotient.

Twin XL Duvet Covers?

Q: How is BH's H1N1?  He's the first local case I've heard about.

A: He's fine. Thanks for your concern.  BTW - BH tested positive for Influenza A.  He never actually had a test for H1N1.

Q: Why not?

A: The H1N1 test is no longer available in LA County unless you're dying…and by then you probably don't need or want the test results anyway.  BH went to the doctor with a fever (because he was close to going to camp and we thought he had strep) and was given a quick swab test, which showed he was positive for Influenza A.

Q:  So it wasn't a confirmed case of H1N1? 

A: No. The CDC has told LA doctors to tell their patients that they can "assume" they have swine flu if they're positive for Influenza A, because there are no other influenza A's going around. 

Q: Hmm.  Sounds like a conspiracy - a way to keep doctors from having to report that their patients have a potentially deadly disease.

A: Correct. It is a plot that was dreamed up by the Santa Monica and Beverly Hills Chambers of Commerce – Everyone around here has a fever, but why should we have to shut down and lose tourist dollars like the pobres mexicanos?  By not testing there are no "comfirmed cases" to report, tourism thrives and Tamiflu stockholders prosper.  It's a win-win. 

At any rate, BH has recovered and is heading off to camp. 

Q: So what are you agonizing about now?

A: I am trying to get CJ to go shopping for bedding and shower-totes, a favorite activity for 18-year old boys.

Q: Are you the only mom in your community thinking about linens?

A: No! This has emerged as the #1 topic of conversation among parents of college-bound kids.  In fact, just in the past three days, I have received THREE calls from parents seeking advice about whether to get an XL Duvet Cover to go with the mandatory XL twin sheets, which are supposedly 4-8" longer than regular twin sheets. 

Q: So what's the answer?  Will a regular-length blanket work on an XL dorm bed?

A: This has required almost as much research as my H1N1 investigation.  Here is what I've learned: 

XL sheets ARE necessary – they are NOT a potential scam like Tamiflu.  But the NPI has done a preliminary study that shows an undo amount of fear and hype associated with dormitory sheet-length.  This could be because the media has blown the situation out of proportion: One linen company sent out an urgent letter to parents saying that it would be a "disaster" if students showed up in the dorms with regular-length twin sheets.  So, to avoid a nightmarish move-in experience, XL it is. 

Q: If I buy XL sheets, can I pair them with regular-sized duvets and covers, which are available in 300+ thread counts?   Or do I have to buy something tacky and scratchy designed for a dorm? 

A: A complicated dilemma, enhanced by an additional risk:  If you find a nice XL duvet, you might not find a decent XL cover and visa versa.

And I thought this summer would be relatively stress-free, a time to enjoy long games of Scrabble and  BBQs with my son.  Instead, as I recover from my quarantine, I face a crisis as formidable as last summer's Situation about which SAT II to take.  Will report back after a tour and briefing at our local Bed, Bath and Beyond.