The Neurotic Parent

The Neurotic Parent Institute has inadvertantly started a one-stop college planning service.  We are officially into the "lull period", during which high school seniors wait to find out who will accept them – or change their deferred status.  But things are not slow here – Within the last few weeks I have received desperate phone calls from friends and acquaintances who believe that because CJ was accepted early to his dream school, I have to power to come up with plans and solutions for their seniors and juniors.

Here are some of the services I have dutifully performed:

- Critiqued an essay on December 30th (1 day before deadline)

- Planned a junior's college trip to "jocky" schools using Delta miles.

- Presented a brief comparison all of the SAT tutors in SoCal.

- Analyzed emails from UC Berkeley about scholarships to determine if they were sent out to everyone, or just a select few.

- Evaluated summer programs to decide whether they would be viewed as "bogus" by college reps; came up with suggested spin of how to position bogus program on student's resume.

- Convinced dozens of people to add Emory to their students' lists after CJ received a live call from a real person on his cell from Emory on December 30th begging him to apply. 

- Theorized why highly-qualified students were deferred from Wesleyan, Yale and Williams; created strategies and marketing plans to get these kids accepted.

- Agreed to lend my embarrassingly-large library of Michele Hernandez books to the mom of CJ's brilliant and talented goalie friend.

- Extolled the virtues of my two new favorite off-the-radar schools, based on their fabulous mailings: Rice and Kenyon.  Okay, they are both in sucky locations, but you can't have everything.

The best part of the Neurotic Parent college planning services is that although they may not be accurate or fruitful, at least they are free.  Just catch me at a soccer game and ask me about "Tufts Syndrome."

CC THREAD OF THE DAY: Can Video Games be Listed as an Extracurricular on College Apps?

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/college-admissions/628881-video-games-college-application.html

This is a very exciting possibilty for the Neurotic Parent.  My own kids are not gamers (they are too busy managing their fantasy sports teams), but I, the Neurotic Parent, have many hours of useless electronics under my belt:

- the Pin Ball Queen in undergraduate school

- a Pong star after graduation

- an accomplished Ms. Pac Man player in between my two marriages, and

- a level-9 high-scoring Tetris aficianado – in fact, I still play Tetris on long flights

- an international Word Twist participant (although I can't compete with anyone under 20)

Can I put these accomplishments on my own resumé?

Just because my son was lucky enough to have gained early acceptance to his dream school, it doesn't mean I have to stop being a neurotic parent.  There is always our younger son, BH, to worry about.  He did pick up a new award over the vacation (1st Place, Team Penning – cooperative cattle-rustling skills, not something you see on every college resume).  That award could serve to conteract the B+ he expects in English. 

But now it's my job to find something else to stress about…a nasty addiction perhaps?

Yes, it's true.  Much as I try, I cannot survive without a daily fix of the most annoying website on the web, College Confidential.  Now that CJ is on the other side of SATs, SAT IIs, and EC building, you would think I would stop caring about kids who spend their Saturday nights discussing whether their 2380, TASC selection and NMF status will qualify them for BME at MIT. 

But I just can't seem to stay away from the bizarre combination of parental smugness and juvenile low self esteem at www.collegeconfidential.com. 

So in an attempt to justify my obsessive CC visits, for the next week I will publish links to CC's most entertaining threads.

CC THREAD OF THE DAY #1: CLAM FARTING

As a joke, a student wrote on his common app that his primary extracurricular activity was "Clam Farting".  And, if you can believe him, he was still accepted to Yale.

http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/what-my-chances/470497-clam-fart-oh-my-god-what-did-i-do.html